This is what happens to people who lie about swearing at children (see Fibruary 7 post). I thought it was kind of obvious I wouldn't actually utter such a thing, but all the rest was true.
Yeah. I swear as often as possible in front of children. Broadens their minds while simultaneously allowing their parents to use me as an example of what not to be like. Win win fucking win.
I think I've said too much already. A girl can't lay down all her cards at once. Good thing my deck goes higher than 52. I wish I were a guy so I could pee anywhere I wanted while standing up. That's real power. I'd like to meet the following: My great-great grandparents, the N. Oklahoma ones, not the Swiss gentry. My woebegone friendship with Adam G. The man who's going to be with me till we're retired to the porch swing sucking on glycerine tablets, and who still reads to me at night, while I rub his feet. My ambitions with commitment and discipline. The characters from old David Lee Roth videos. Hot carb on carb action. That fucker who keeps trying to take the bbq, in a dark alley, satan's minions, lilliputians, nigglers, pifflers, piddlers, snake-oil peddlers, cripples, do-gooders, truth-seekers, sweethearts, wandering minstrels, interlopers, robber barons, saints, sinners, people who snort and guffaw, holler and whoop, tender tender people with good hearts, and all my fat little babies. I like BUTTER! And Vitamin Z!
2 comments:
you got me, kissyface. damn, i was sure you said the f-word. sometimes, little shits need to hear it.
Yeah. I swear as often as possible in front of children. Broadens their minds while simultaneously allowing their parents to use me as an example of what not to be like. Win win fucking win.
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