Friday, August 22, 2008

Worse than it looks

Never get in an argument with a socket wrench, especially when you are supine, twenty feet back under a deck in a very confined space. Especially not when you are sleep deprived and fail to notice that you've managed to sink the bolt in the joist already and there's not much more for the tool to hold onto and all your arm strength is going to bring that metal club down faster and harder on your forehead.

Did it hurt? I cracked my frontal lobe so hard I yelped and instantly felt a sharp pain at the back of my skull. Still, I shed no tears, but was nervous enough about it to think I'd better get myself out from under there in case I'd given myself a concussion. It might have taken a while before I'd be found and rescued. So I crawled out in under a minute, but not before I already had a goose egg about half the size a chicken might lay. Blood moves fast! It happened Tuesday afternoon, but oddly, the bruise under my eye didn't emerge until Wednesday, and yesterday emerged across the bridge of my nose and down my cheek. There is almost no bruising at the point of impact , which is now a small lump over the start of my eyebrow. I looked half-Neanderthal a couple hours after it happened, as I iced it for 4-5 hours and the lump got shorter but broader in scope.

What is most interesting to me is that since I went all raccoon-eyed and especially going out last night, I'm getting all kinds of strange come-on energy from men, and I don't mean it in the "Oh, come on!" kind of way. Seems to bring out a bit of the brush-ape, as my step-father is fond of saying. It's half-titillated and half-protective, and I never expected it, though I suppose I should have, sex and violence lurking together in our primitive brains. Anyway, the entire thing has been fairly amusing to me, and I'm glad the headache is mostly gone. Now I have a black dog, a black eye, and, my boyfriend would like me to add, a black, black heart.


Anonymous said...

Its the universes' way of saying- "It puts the eye-shadow on like this or else it will go un-noticed..."
Take heed lamby.

bulletholes said...

So tough, so courageous
I bet you had every wrench monkey in the place makin' like he was Elvis!

Anonymous said...

Damn! It may sound sick, but I've always wanted a black eye. Or a broken nose. Something to give me the look of a brawling, whisky-bottle-over-the-head smashing He Man. I had a broken jaw once, but it wasn't the same. Although I did kinda like the Brando mumble. Hope your eye gets, like, paler soon. And I bet lots of people look at you and think, "Asshole boyfriend." You might want to not walk around with him for a couple of days. Unless he's the kind of brawling He Man I'd like to pretend I am. UF Mike