Tuesday, March 25, 2008

We have secretly removed your memories and replaced them with a set of new and improved ones.

She landed in Bosnia under sniper fire. That's what happened, says the former First Lady, and that's why she's got better experience than her opponent.

Even if it were true, it doesn't show me her "toughness," rather it demonstrates poor decision making. Why would she bring her daughter into the line of fire? What's that little braided girl doing there? Sheryl Crow, the talentless do-gooder? I would have lied about being there at all given that musical line-up.

Friday, March 07, 2008

Copernicus Wept

From the deep and penetrating mind of an online journalist: "...In related news, it was also revealed that Daylight Saving Time actually creates no additional daylight." Well, no shit, Sherlock.

Mr. Null, your surname says it all.

Monday, March 03, 2008

A Movie I'd Like to See, v iii: There Will Be Bloods

A story of star-crossed lovers, wherein crusty oilman, Daniel Plainview, and gangsta baby mama*, played by Kelis, are caught in the blackgold typhoon of his turf war with her old man's posse. We know why she brings all the boys to the yard, and he drinks her milkshake. He drinks it up!

*Gary Coleman plays H.W.