Monday, September 14, 2009
The Good Book
Today I was fired from Barnes and Noble because a customer complained that I had stocked Christian Bibles in the fiction section.
(reblogged from One Sentence archive - story #3286)
I've always felt that it's a big mistake on the part of the public school system not to make The Bible a part of the freshman year English curriculum, as they did at my non-denominational private school. Let's face it, those stories are the basis of most of Western literature and art. Sadly, I was bumped back into public school for 9th grade (that was a matter of denomination of the greenback variety), so I missed my Bible primer. Most of my intermittent exposure to Sunday School was spent at the Mormon church, where they focused more attention on a whole other book of mythology.
Which reminds me of a time when I was maybe eight and we were driving to a LDS summer camp. I was deeply engrossed in D'Aulaire's Book of Greek Myths, which gave rise to great concern amongst the ladies in the VW Bus. They were very sweet about it, but oh what an uproar of ridiculous clucking! I endured their worries for my immortal soul, and somehow suppressed the impulse to roll my eyes. By the way, if any of you true believers out there have any ambitions for your children to attend a decent university, please don't deprive them of exposure to the classics and other belief systems. Keeping them ignorant of history will not assist them in pursuit of a Liberal Arts education.
In any case, I had to wait for Art History classes and Joseph Campbell to really start soaking up Angel Wrestling, Sacrifices of Beloved Sons, Decapitating Bitches, and Loaves and Fishes. Religion is, of course, a matter of faith for some and a matter of choice for others, but I think even many rational Christians can agree that there is some manner of literature on those hallowed pages. Whether God actually wrote it (which I seriously doubt, bereft as it is of consistent poetry, humor & joy), or it's the work of man, its value is not diminished. Whatever the case, B&N can suck it.