I'm Your Huckleberry*

Recently saw Val Kilmer at a breakfast place in Los Feliz (the last time was at Sundance in 2000). He was there, flanked by three cutie-pie twenty-somethings. His face was about as bloated as that cyst on his left elbow (http://66.102.7.104/searchq=cache:KepVc9dixeQJ:itsb.ucsf.edu/~vcr/FiveAct.html+val+kilmer%27s+elbow&hl=e), but he was still hot. Why exactly does he keep that growth there? Maybe it's a sensory device, like the forehead of a Beluga Whale. Side note: Sorry for this, but Marcia Cross looks like one of these oceanic mammals. At least they are cute.

Anyway, coming through the doorway I nearly fell over the single tiny step down into that part of the restaurant, next to which the actor himself was seated. I certainly landed on my left foot far too hard. I'm actually kind of sorry I didn't positively splay on the floor, prostrate before him. It would have been SO much more memorable than the near miss, and really, that which excoriates our egos, only makes us stronger.

Leaving the bathroom, and passing by his table on my return, I heard one of the young ladies exclaim to Val, "But, you know, the French call it 'Choc-lat.'" He mumbled in reply, "Oh?"

Bored much, Val? Enjoying the company of didactic numbskulls? It's my personal predjudice that when teaching people you: 1)choose an interesting seminar topic, and 2)gauge the sophistication level of your audience. I'm guessing that a 40-something Julliard graduate, who has traveled the world, and filmed The Doors in Paris, probably knows what the French call their cocoa.

On the other hand, it's so easy to feel superior when the Green-eyed Monster has ahold of your earlobe.

"Successful felons, criminals love L.A. It's so big, there's so many freeways to get on after you do your score. Because of its possibilities, L.A.'s the most sorrowful city in the world." Val Kilmer

I wonder if he's related to this fellow, a peddler of Indian Medicines:
"Dr. Kilmer's Indian Cough Cure Consumption Oil. 19th-century patent medicine card purporting Kilmer's oil to be an authentic Native American remedy. "



Don't want you to think I'm obsessed with this guy, but I would like to play "Seven Minutes in Heaven" with him. Is it so much to ask?

* (click on title for explanation of this saying)