Wednesday, July 19, 2006
Gettin' the Skinny on the Fat
A word to all you carbophobes: the scientific community has once again bowled me over with their astonishing insight and groundbreaking findings. I read this morning, get this, that obesity was linked diets low in fiber and fruit intake.
What? That's crazy talk.
Seriously, who comes up with this shit? More importantly, how much of our taxpayers' dollars subsidize studies that produce conclusions a common-sensical eight-year-old knows? Peas and carrots, peas and carrots, an apple a day.
I haven't been this underwhelmed since the LA Times ran a front page story proclaiming a link between air pollution and childhood asthma in California. What a complex cause-effect relationship that is.
And to all you diet freaks running amok about these parts: to hear frosted bubblegum-clawed bimbos and neckless weight lifting douchebags expressing horror at the calories in fresh juice or a slice of grapefruit, while they guzzle processed power drinks and swallow vitamins with growth hormone mimickers rankles all sense of reason. AND BREAD IS NOT BAD FOR YOU. Just get the really grainy kind, it'll work out fine.
Ok, that's enough of my sarcasm, I have to go figure out why my I'm so tired all the time. Do you think it could have anything to do with working in the oppressive heat every day? I should run some tests... Could it be making me irritable?