Wednesday, July 19, 2006

Gettin' the Skinny on the Fat


A word to all you carbophobes: the scientific community has once again bowled me over with their astonishing insight and groundbreaking findings. I read this morning, get this, that obesity was linked diets low in fiber and fruit intake.

What? That's crazy talk.

Seriously, who comes up with this shit? More importantly, how much of our taxpayers' dollars subsidize studies that produce conclusions a common-sensical eight-year-old knows? Peas and carrots, peas and carrots, an apple a day.

I haven't been this underwhelmed since the LA Times ran a front page story proclaiming a link between air pollution and childhood asthma in California. What a complex cause-effect relationship that is.

And to all you diet freaks running amok about these parts: to hear frosted bubblegum-clawed bimbos and neckless weight lifting douchebags expressing horror at the calories in fresh juice or a slice of grapefruit, while they guzzle processed power drinks and swallow vitamins with growth hormone mimickers rankles all sense of reason. AND BREAD IS NOT BAD FOR YOU. Just get the really grainy kind, it'll work out fine.

Ok, that's enough of my sarcasm, I have to go figure out why my I'm so tired all the time. Do you think it could have anything to do with working in the oppressive heat every day? I should run some tests... Could it be making me irritable?

5 comments:

whosyourhuckleberry said...

Wow, you shouldn't mask your feelings like that.
Its not healthy...

rachelp said...

frosted bubblegum-clawed bimbos and neckless weight lifting douchebags expressing horror at the calories in fresh juice or a slice of grapefruit, while they guzzle processed power drinks and swallow vitamins with growth hormone mimickers rankles all sense of reason. WOW. This may be the most amazing piece of writing yet.
My favorite was when scientists proved there may be a mind body connection.

kissyface said...

you mean to tell me that my head is linked to my frame? you RNs think you know everything.

Jed said...

http://www.theonion.com/content/node/38603?issue=4228&special=2002

The Frito Pundito said...

The problem is (speaking in my deep authoritative scientist's voice) that so many things that are seemingly obvious are actually not true. Before Galileo dropped the stones off the leaning tower of Pisa (whether he actually did it or not) "everyone" knew that heavier things fall faster. More recently "everyone" knew that scurvey was a venereal disease except that it isn't. And of course everyone knows pot is a gateway drug for heroin except for the 97% of pot smokers who never use heroin. Not to mention that for any given effect there are always counter examples. High fat, hi-cholesterol diet bad for you? How about them Inuit?

You didn't link to the studies you mentioned, so I couldn't check them out, but good research usually does more than just isolate an effect, it puts the effect in context with other research going and possibly suggests a treatment. The other major impetus for what might seem to be redundant research is that policy wise, nothing gets implemented without a study backing it up (unless of course there is some sort of "faith-based" angle, in which case it's in no matter what). So, like many things that seem senseless, once you actually look at them, there is a reason for them. Why we do research.

As for being tired all the time, I did read a study linking lack of sleep to feelings of tiredness....