My First Interview: Five Questions from Grant Miller

Grant Miller vs. Grant Miller: who do you prefer?







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Believe it or not, as a child I used to interview myself constantly, because that's the kind of narcissist I am. Or, maybe it was all those hours with no one to talk to. But seriously, I had things to say.

These days, I no longer have to bounce my musings off the walls like a formerly crazy person, as I have been graced with the interest of Grant Miller Media! I think I guilted him into it. Regardless, finally my deep thoughts will be circulating the internet like another banal Paris Lohan Ritchie rumor for whatever the cumulative jailtime actually is.
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The Interview


GM: We're both Led Zeppelin fans. If you were Robert Plant would you use a tube of toothpaste, a wadded up sock or the customary wad of paper to highlight your package?

KFC: That admission makes me feel so close to you, Grant. As for the frontman, an ironic term for a guy who wants to be your backdoor man, not sure he needs any embellishment. When I attended the screening of the Royal Albert Hall concert film, shamelessly wriggling about in my seat like a submissive pup, while gushing about how HOT he was at 22, mi amigo, Billy, turned and said "You just want to crawl up in his lap, DON'T YOU?" Well... So, maybe he could tie one of those protective red Kabbalah strings around it, but beyond that it would just be gilding the lily.

amigo Billy


GM: If you wrote a song about Alex Chilton, would you title it "Alex Chilton?"

KFC: Almost. You see, I went down to the crossroads recently, and now I have a pact to keep. So I think I'd call it "Alex Chitlins." He'd like that; he's southern.

GM: If Grant Miller Media reignited its blogwar with The Company Bitch, whose side would you chose?

KFC: Hmm, that's a tough one, Grant. You know, as much as I revere GMM, I really do love that Bitch. It's all so he said/she said - don't really want to get caught in the middle. I think I'd choose Unremitting Mike's side. Or maybe Mimi Smartypants. I'm a lover not a fighter.

GM: You represent a band in Los Angeles. What the most rock and roll thing you've seen them do?

KFC: Those guys are nerds. Good-looking nerds, but nerds all the same. Let's see... karaoke at Smogcutters, which I understand is staffed by Thai trannies. That strikes me as somewhat Glam, though the GLs aren't that, either. Nathan almost took a gig with the BeeGees. There's nothing rock-n-roll about them. Clark produced a few of the Dandy Warhols albums, but just how "rock-n-roll" are they, really? It's tough, because the whole genre might just be a thing of the past. Still, our primary drummer, The Rev. Derek Brown, is pretty dope (I only use such terms when I'm doing band stuff). He's going on the road with Earlimart soon - they are cool, but still pretty el sensitivo. Then again, Robert Plant was in love with Joni Mitchell, so you know... But back to Derek, there's a Harley in the picture and he had this ZZ Top beard he was sporting for awhile, because he was still playing with The Eels, so he definitely increases our R&R cachet. Recently he shaved it way down, and now he just looks really rugged-handsome. Come to think of it, they all wear beards. I renamed them The Hairy Listeners for my own amusement. Actually, Billy's probably more Rock&Roll, 'cuz he hangs with zombies and Jodorowsky and stuff, but he's not in the band. But seriously, I love those guys and they are really talented, but as far as acting out goes, they truly disappoint.

GM: Why should people read your blog?

KFC: It's probably best that they don't, it only encourages me.