Chris: I have an interview I give every girl I date.
Me: REALLY? What?
Chris: It's two questions - #1 If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be? If she answers with something like, "My Nose," she's out.
Me: Why is that?
Chris: (rather emphatically, which is generally how he relates things) Because God GAVE you that nose and you should be basking in gratitude for it!
Me: Uh, ok, what's #2?
Chris: Can you cook? The answer is always "no" in this town.
Terry: (indicating to me) She can REALLY cook.
Tim walks up to us at this point.
Chris: Hey Tim, can your girlfriend cook?
Tim (looking completely incredulous): She's PRETTY.