Thursday, August 09, 2007

Jurassic Genocide?

Dinosaur Mass Grave Discovered in Switzerland



See, the land of my father's people ain't so neutral after all.

This jogs a memory of second grade, when my know-it-all friend Auralee, whose daddy was a scientist, convinced me that there were two unearthed dinosaur eggs in her side yard. On reflection, I think they might have been decomposing squash, but I was a pliable sucker for years to come. I do recall arguing with her about it, but being an overall trusting sort of child, who was foolishly incapable of lying myself and therefore utterly solipsistic in my view of the potential mendacity of others, I caved. Later on I think she mocked me for my gullibility. She claimed to share some disease with The Bionic Woman, which must also have been a lie, because the only thing I could find noted about the woman who portrayed Jamie Sommers was dyslexia. Or maybe the actress involved herself in a related charity which benefitted folks similarly afflicted to Auralee. Actresses like to do that, you know. Anyway, TBW had lived in our area, and had written the ailing youngster her condolences. Consequently, Auralee had a signed picture of Lindsay Wagner (who, according to a few misguided people, I allegedly resemble. I don't think so, but there's a list like that, which is probably too embarassing to recount), which gave her extra credibility, of course.

It should be noted that my favorite dinosaur word is Diplodocus, which is phonetically as close a representation of the awkwardness of my movements in the subsequent years of grammar school, as any other cumbersome word you could find. I'd enjoy it if you could suggest a few more - sort of the opposite of our past lyric searches. To say I was all legs would be an understatement, and one would be overlooking The Feet. Odd that with platforms like that I should have toppled so easily. Sigh.

More Dinosaur facts? Don't really have any, except I used to know a founding member of the band, Dinosaur Jr., and that always reminds me of my friend and onetime roommate's old Lab mix, Dog, Jr. Dog, Jr, who quite possibly had the best dog name I've ever heard, was a sweet old man, and was terrified of the telephone. We never knew why. Despite his kindly disposition, he did abuse a drunken house-guest most terribly once. She had passed out on the sofa and he ate a hank of her hair off as she slept, right down to the scalp.

4 comments:

Grant Miller said...

Who did you know from Dinosaur?

kissyface said...

Doubt you'd know of him - Garrett was out before they were anything approaching famous. I think they were all in Boston together after he dropped out of Wesleyan U. Those guys were from Amherst, MA. Of course, like Auralee, he could have made the whole thing up, but I rather doubt it.

McGone said...

When I had to look up "solipsistic" and "mendacity" I thought this post would be above me, but then I saw Lindsay Wagner and it was all warm fuzzies for me, because she is one of the way-back crushes.

And as an added bonus, "solipsistic" is now a new favorite word.

steve said...

Oh how I wish you had been in my neighborhood...I was always up to something in the fashion of Auralee; you would have been a real specimen.
ever since reading "The Number of the Beast" I have thought of myself as a Pantheistic Solipsist and did not know until a minute ago that it is actually in Wikipedia!

Dinosaurs! Yes this is fun...how about
Gangelyphysiouspediusaurus Rex...I'll decline the Paleontological Description.