Oh Christ, they can't actually mean this. TC is the new JC? Remember what happened to the Beatles albums in the Bible Belt when John Lennon said they were more popular than Jesus?
the similarities are uncanny: jesus associated with a purported ex-prostitute (magdalene)and tom cruise shagged one in risky business; the catholic church fought communism in eastern europe and tom fought MiGs in top gun; jesus battled the devil and tom battled the lord of darkness in legend; jesus turned water into wine and tom played a bartender in cocktail; judas betrayed jesus and jon voight betrayed tom in mission impossible; jesus killed a bunch of dudes with a sword and tom played the last samurai. okay, well that last one may not be true, but you get the point. scary, right?
Jesus did so kill a bunch of dudes with a sword! Oh, and JT, you forgot that Tom and Jesus appeared together in "Days of Thunder." Remember? Jesus played "Rowdy Burns."
Ya, well, when he comes raging in on his Holy Chariot and flaming sword to chase Satan and the other fallen angels off the edge of Heaven into the fiery lakes of Pandemonium Paradise Lost-style, then maybe he'll have earned his chops. Till then, however, I remain unimpressed...
I think I've said too much already. A girl can't lay down all her cards at once. Good thing my deck goes higher than 52. I wish I were a guy so I could pee anywhere I wanted while standing up. That's real power. I'd like to meet the following: My great-great grandparents, the N. Oklahoma ones, not the Swiss gentry. My woebegone friendship with Adam G. The man who's going to be with me till we're retired to the porch swing sucking on glycerine tablets, and who still reads to me at night, while I rub his feet. My ambitions with commitment and discipline. The characters from old David Lee Roth videos. Hot carb on carb action. That fucker who keeps trying to take the bbq, in a dark alley, satan's minions, lilliputians, nigglers, pifflers, piddlers, snake-oil peddlers, cripples, do-gooders, truth-seekers, sweethearts, wandering minstrels, interlopers, robber barons, saints, sinners, people who snort and guffaw, holler and whoop, tender tender people with good hearts, and all my fat little babies. I like BUTTER! And Vitamin Z!
4 comments:
the similarities are uncanny: jesus associated with a purported ex-prostitute (magdalene)and tom cruise shagged one in risky business; the catholic church fought communism in eastern europe and tom fought MiGs in top gun; jesus battled the devil and tom battled the lord of darkness in legend; jesus turned water into wine and tom played a bartender in cocktail; judas betrayed jesus and jon voight betrayed tom in mission impossible; jesus killed a bunch of dudes with a sword and tom played the last samurai. okay, well that last one may not be true, but you get the point. scary, right?
Jesus did so kill a bunch of dudes with a sword! Oh, and JT, you forgot that Tom and Jesus appeared together in "Days of Thunder." Remember? Jesus played "Rowdy Burns."
Does this mean we get to nail Tom to a cross, or do we have to send him on his Magic Spaceship ride to Xenu with a low-yield nuke?
Ya, well, when he comes raging in on his Holy Chariot and flaming sword to chase Satan and the other fallen angels off the edge of Heaven into the fiery lakes of Pandemonium Paradise Lost-style, then maybe he'll have earned his chops.
Till then, however, I remain unimpressed...
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