Thursday, May 18, 2006

Putting an End to It

Scott, who swears he wants to die being eaten by sharks, but only to amuse his friends, writes this to me:

"That's it. I am moving to Florida!"

Here's why.

I replied:

"they aren't sharks dum-dum. don't go revising the dream. next you'll want to swap the heroin in our drug pact for twilight sleep. our joint suicide will become bungee jumping. where does the mediocrity end? accept no substitutes. eat no artificial sweetners."

Wise up, Buddy.

8 comments:

The Frito Pundito said...

The forwarding link is broken! I have no idea what this is referring to! I am swimming adrift in sea of referencelessness, with the sharks of hidden semantics snapping at my ass

Huckleberry said...

I believe - in all honesty - that I will die at the hands of a death ray of my own invention.
Its inevitable.

kissyface said...

"Death ray of my own invention," is a fabulous sentence. So, must you build it?

Huckleberry said...

Of course I have to build it.
I'm not immortal...

kissyface said...

Huck -

wow, this is spinning like some latter day promethean project; i suddenly feel inspired to write a Gothic novel. your sentence is now your sentence - fate is upon you, prodding you. is there some strange comfort in that?

Huckleberry said...

Yes, some measure of comfort.
I break it down thusly:

1) I am not immortal, and therefore must die.

2) I am to succumb to a "death ray" that I must build,

3) If I did not build said "death ray," I would, logically, not die, and the universe tends to frown on fools who defy the rules. Retributively, Fate would probably cut a swath through the city proper - as a warning - taking the lives of many prematurely.

Better to invent the damn death ray, and save lives.

Also, you should write a Gothic novel. You've got the chops. It'd be better then the drivel packed onto the shelves these days, I wager.

Huckleberry said...

Oh ya, and this is my last day of this freakin semester, I've got my last exam looming as I speak, my students' exams to grade tomorrow, and then Huckleberry should be back in saddle.

I've got posts to share...

kissyface said...

H-
As to your future literary efforts, I cain't hardly wait!

I love the breakdown of your reasoning, laid out like some sort of proof. Logic of the absurd, somewhat, and great.

And thanks for buttering me up!