How did I miss this guy in all those years in Portland? You know, you spend most of your life in one place, move to another, then realize your "soul-mate" was back home all along.
Read the whole thing, you won't be/will be sorry.
Did you read it yet? NO? Go back and do not continue until you have read the entire profile! The power of Froggy compels thee!
I guess no one wants to "Go it" alone. Here's my reply (unsent, but he'll "feel" it in the night):
Dear Lord Haywire -
I am very very pale. Some would even go so far as to call me Tasty. I don't really care for biting, but if you'll learn proper verb formation or at least to discern the difference between the second half of an auxilliary verb and a preposition, I'll fire RPK's, whatever they are, with you as we ride. You see, each of us has his own priorities and must honor those of our partner. That's the only reason I'll abide the bayonet babies. But do I really have to smoke? Do you? Does your mother know you smoke? What is a Strait Razor? Is it a type of skiff, narrow enough for tight passage? Or a blade that de-barbs country western singers? Does it cut through difficulties, like Alexander's broad sword cleaving the Gordian knot?
So many questions.
Have I mentioned how exceptionally pale I am? Oh, and I have very strait teeth. Just ask that OHSU dental student, Marty, I went on a date with. He couldn't stop talking about my perfect teeth and "class-A bite." Oh, he meant orthodonture, not foreplay. Don't get jealous.
Screw that skank at the coffee shop, she can't see how "hansome" you really are. She doesn't know that when you say you want to "hang out," you don't mean casually. You want a noose around our necks. I dig you. I dig you a grave.