Thursday, March 15, 2007

Reading Carefully


My wiser elder brother advised me that the same Wikipedia link I provided as bio for Sandy Duncan averred, "She does not, despite rumors, have a glass eye." Clearly, my quick scan demonstrates that I have neither the speed nor the astounding retention of JFK. Evidently I was due to print some form of retraction over this, but in further consideration, I realized what vile mechanations were really at work.

I can only conclude that the cruelty of this woman knows no bounds. Don't let the fey innocence of the pixie fool you - they are notorious tricksters. After buttering up poor Sammy Davis, Jr. with false-camaraderie, she clearly enticed then crushed him in contest after contest, knowing he had no chance of besting her, what with his ocular impairment. Such behavior is tantamount to ridicule. Shame on you, Sandy. Shame on you very much.

10 comments:

McGone said...

At least you are big enough to admit your mistake, AND smart enough to then concoct a conspiracy theory to match your previous post. High five yourself for me, will you? I don't feel like driving that far.

Mister Underhill said...

The great thing about wiki is you can edit it to have a two page story about her and sammi playing marbles with their dislocated glass eyes.

Huckleberry said...

Are you trying to kill me?
Seriously?
Twice in a year is too much, and you've, ugh, "bested" that by a factor of at least 26...
Now I need the glass eye...

kissyface said...

mcgone - you're too kind. your blog is funny. and land o lincoln ain't that far.

mr. underhill - you're right, but i felt that was implicit in what i wrote. sandy's great at ringer.

huck - i wouldn't harm a hair on your bonny head. has this been like a poke in the eye with a sharp stick? sorry. perhaps you'd prefer i move on to Florence Henderson and Wesson oil?

factor of 26? what do you mean? math is hard.

kissyface said...

oh, and mcgone - i seem always able to admit my mistakes. but i tell you, it's practically pathological, and it gets me nowhere.

UF Mike said...

Sandy: no glass eye? I don't believe it. I've spent my whole life believing that Sandy Duncan has a glass eye, and I'll be damned if I'm going to change my entire belief system based on a sentence in a Wikipedia article. In fact, what I'm going to do is start a religion that takes it as an article of faith that Sandy Duncan has a glass eye, and that ruthlessly expels nonbelievers who perist in claiming that she doesn't. Believe me, Kissyface, the woman has monoeye. She does.

kissyface said...

UF - This is why I love you.

Rev. Barking Nonsequitor said...

UF - I agree. My universe would be shattered if I thought that Sandy D's eye was not glass. I refuse to be persuaded. I just want to live in my happy fantasy land - oh oh! Look out for that bus!

UF Mike said...

Thanks, Kissyface. Feel free to join Rev. Barking Nonsequitor and I in our unshakeable faith in the glassiness of Sandy's eye. Don't be let that disciple, whichever one it was, who took Wikipedia's word over Jesus's, only to find out later that the former was based on faulty information.

Grant Miller said...

Damn right shame on Sandy Duncan.