Friday, March 23, 2007

Is It April Fool's Day Already?

Apparently, despite family history, it seems I might have a chance of not developing breast cancer.

I've no objections to this (sorry, is that an overshare? We're all adults, here...), but it seems an odd bit of research. One must always ask oneself when examining such claims, "Who stands to gain?"

Best line in the article? "The findings do suggest that there are other causes for breast cancer besides the absence of regular fellatio," Shafteer said. "It's a cause, not THE cause." Can they really claim any causality there? I'm just waiting to hear about the next guy who tries to use that on one of my girlfriends.

Hilarious.


You know how to whistle, don't you?

9 comments:

GrizzBabe said...

"Only with regular occurrence will your chances be reduced, so I encourage all women out there to make fellatio an important part of their daily routine," said Dr. Helena Shifteer, one of the researchers at the University. "Since the emergence of the research, I try to fellate at least once every other night to reduce my chances."

Can't...stop..laughing

Citizen H said...

Who the hell signed off on that research grant? Larry Flynt?

steve said...

Granpa said it was good for "the vapors" as well.

Huckleberry said...

I can see the slogan already:

"Give Head to stay ahead of breast cancer"

City of Hope ain't got nothin' on that...

UF Mike said...

I, for one, find this research heartening, and plan to immediately go out and "give the gift of life."

GEWELS said...

Hilarious! I am still a bit skeptical however. I can see why more research is needed- OY!
steve- Grandpa's know everything.

kissyface said...

Citizen H - exactly.

Steve - Granpa's a cheeky monkey.

Huck - just wait till "Breast Cancer Awareness Week" comes around. And what now happens at the finish line of the "Race for the Cure"?

UF Mike - what you are proposing, while in your usual mode of 'clever,' is a mass spermocide (sic). As legions of flagellated zygotes reach the death chamber of hydrochloric acid and potassium chloride, the life you share will end. It's a plan worthy of Kaltenbrunner.

Gewels - yes, we'll be collecting data.

UF Mike said...

Kissyface: Yes. Some billions of sperm will have to die. But in a good and noble cause. Believe me when I say that I am not thinking of myself. My only desire is to save women's lives. To save women's lives!

kissyface said...

you're a better man than I, Gunga Din! oh wait...