If You'll Only Just Believe

A slight argument welled up in November between the Aussie and myself. I had been bellyaching about money, then daydreaming aloud about how great it would be to win the lottery, to which he brashly responded:

"You're probably one of those people who talks about how much you want to win, but never actually buys a ticket."

"True, but why are you trying to put limitations on my world?"

"You cannot win if you don't buy."



"Unlimited potential of the Universe, Baby. I could find a ticket on the ground, or perhaps someone will put a winner in my Christmas stocking..."

He just stared at me.

"You're the one who brags about being so optimistic. Anything's possible, right?"

He just shook his head.

A few days later, before our trip to Mexico, I went over to a massive red vending machine in the Glendale Von's (remind me to tell you another story about that particular excursion), and tried to choose from about ten different styles of lottery tickets. Obviously, I was succumbing to his influence. Though completely overwhelmed by the choices, I was trying to be a man of action. Except that course was utterly stymied, as the machine refused to accept any bills at all. Closed for business. I took that as a sign that I almost certainly was completely right about my theory, and soon God and the heavens would be showering me with Ben Franklins.

Or Krugerands, maybe?

Sometimes you simply have to be patient.

So imagine my elation today when I serendipitously opened my bulk email bin (looking for an errant message from RPP), and found this message: WINNING NOTIFICATION...CONTACT YOUR CLAIMS AGENT IMMEDIATELY!!!!........

"CONGRATULATIONS! CONGRATULATIONS!! CONGRATULATIONS!!!

Attn: Sir/Madam,

We happily announce to you the draw (#942) of the SOUTH AFRICA
SPORTSTAKE program, Wheel E-game held on 2nd of February 2007. It is yet to be
claimed and you are getting the final notification with regards this."

I will spare you the tedium of details, such as the winning ticket number, my agent's name and contact information, etc.
My prize, however, is a whopping 17,253,000 ZAR. After putting it into an online currency converter, I learned that is about 2.4 million US dollars.

That's right, I didn't have to do a thing but dream it up; the universe will provide.



But you know what I love most? The sweet motto of their Lotto, so spiritually aligned with my own Weltanschaung.

*Love the game, Win the game*


(Citizen H, I do believe you have experience with this sort of thing after your wranglings with the Nigerians. I appoint you chief officer in the task of handling this matter and my accounts. Should you accept the post, you will be rewarded most handsomely. I'll just need your SSN and acct. information. Feel free to post them in the comments section. Yours, KF)